My boyfriend is too strong and it hurts
Pain during sexual life is mostly related to the intensity of movement, tension or physiological factors, and can be relieved by adjusting posture, adequate foreplay, communication, lubrication assistance and relaxation training.
1. Adjust posture:
Choose positions where women can better control the rhythm, such as woman-on-top or side-lying positions, to avoid men completely dominating the effort. Women can adjust the depth of entry by themselves when in the female-on position, and the side-lying position can reduce direct impact. Try placing pillows on your waist to change the angle and spread the stress points. When the pain is obvious, you can temporarily switch to non-penetrative intimacy.
2. Sufficient foreplay:
Insufficient foreplay can lead to insufficient vaginal lubrication and muscle tension. It is recommended to extend the foreplay time such as kissing and caressing to more than 15 minutes to help the body naturally secrete lubricant. You can try massaging the perineum or using vibrating toys to help relax the pelvic floor muscles, and wait until the woman shows signs of sufficient excitement such as vaginal expansion and moistness before trying to enter.
3. Communication and expression:
Establish a real-time feedback mechanism and agree on safe words or hand signals. When you feel pain, tell the other person immediately in clear language and avoid vague statements. Afterwards, we can jointly review the specific aspects of the pain. Men need to understand the differences in women's pain thresholds, and women can specify executable suggestions such as "halve the intensity" and "slow down the speed."
4. Lubrication assistance:
When natural lubrication is insufficient, water-soluble lubricants can be used to avoid irritating ingredients such as alcohol or mint. Menopausal women or those taking medication for a long time are recommended to use silicone-based lubricants. The application range should cover the vulva to the vaginal opening, and should be replenished in time during the process. Those with vaginal dryness can use vitamin E soft capsules to help repair mucous membranes.
5. Relaxation training:
Perform daily Kegel exercises to enhance pelvic floor muscle control, and do deep breathing exercises before sex. People with severe anxiety can try progressive muscle relaxation, tightening and relaxing part by part from the toes to the scalp. If necessary, use warm water baths, aromatherapy, etc. to relieve systemic tension.
It is recommended to record the specific situation and location of pain to rule out pathological factors such as vaginismus and endometriosis. Regular intake of foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, such as deep-sea fish and flax seeds, can help reduce inflammation. Cotton underwear and mild lotion can reduce vulvar irritation. If pain persists or is accompanied by abnormal bleeding after adjustment, organic diseases such as gynecological inflammation and cysts need to be investigated. Both parties should remain patient, view sexual experience as a process of joint exploration rather than a task, and seek guidance from a sex therapist when necessary.
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